I am my father's son...

When things get too much to bear, there is only one way to escape: To separate. And that's what I'm going to do.

It's like the way a word has no meaning if you repeat it over and over again. When I see myself in the mirror, that's all I feel. So redundant and bland... Like I'm just staring at the wall.

Every day, it's the same thing. I wake up, I interact, and I come home. I sit in this chair, and I feel my world retract back to solitude.

Then, I feel like I can't take it anymore, and I seek counsel. I start taking medication, and I hate the feeling, so I stop. I say to myself that I don't need it. And I slowly go crazy all over again.

Living in these cycles is killing me. Living itself is killing me. There's always a solution... but how long have I been looking already?

I've been at the brink of breaking under stress for so many years it's scary. The anxiety never stops, because I'm running my life straight into the ground. It's so easy to speak of change... but it's beyond the physical. It's not about that shit anymore. It's too deep, too basic to be about those things. I don't have the ability to calm myself down anymore, because every time I do, it starts all over again...

And no one understands or relates to a word I say. In everyone's eyes, I'm going to spew nonsense until I disappear for some unknown, trivial reason. But that's fine with me. I wouldn't even know where to begin.