So much for losing track of time...

Every now and then, I get a day where I wake up, and nobody's called me yet. I have no plans, and I've got the house to myself. I put on a CD and I get stoned... and I dive right in.

Happiness, for me, is complete and total disassociation. At least, that's what it's become. I won't disappoint myself for a few hour, at least.

I realize how stupid everything seems, looking from this state of mind. But, I know I'll be back there soon. I'll crawl back into a cage of sorts, set with limits that are as strong as any bars.

But I need days like today to reinforce my muscles. I need my strength to push as hard as I can until I'm covered in sweat and heaving, to bend these bars just a little, and expand the cell.